


let me have you (just this once)

by Vilna



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: First Time, Gentleness, M/M, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Riding, implied past Shiro/Adam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 06:58:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20254042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vilna/pseuds/Vilna
Summary: ”I’m going to miss you so much,” Shiro says then, pets Keith’s hair, pecks his brow. Keith closes his eyes, leans his cheek on Shiro’s thigh. They’re quiet. Keith can’t say it back.It’s a thing he’s going to whisper at the sky by the time Shiro’s already gone.





	let me have you (just this once)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hi hey. I wrote this on a whim because i've always wanted to write your regular old pre-kerberos first time -fic!! I got really inspired and wrote this in a few days which has to be some kind of record for me.
> 
> As I said in the tags, there's some mentions of Shiro/Adam but I personally don't think Shiro would ever cheat on anyone, they're kind of broken up at this point even though it's not actually stated in the fic, I don't think? As for other stuff, it's implied that Keith "coarced" Shiro to sleep with him but Shiro's totally on board with that and it's all very consensual, no question. Oh and also, Keith is 18 so not underage.
> 
> kudos & comments of any kind make me swoon.

The ceiling’s low in this corner of the room.

Shiro’s impossibly black hair brushes against it when they kiss, Keith on his lap, thighs against thighs. They’re both hard. Have been for awhile but this hasn’t gone anywhere for the next fifteen minutes or so. Keith is getting frustrated.

”Please,” he murmurs to Shiro’s chapped lips he has bitten red and moist. He licks his own and picks up a hair from his tongue. ”Please,” he says again when Shiro hasn’t budged, just looks at him, considering. His brows are sleek.

Shiro is powerless to Keith’s pleading and Keith knows it. They both do. Shiro sighs and brings his large hand to the back of Keith’s neck, strokes it, always tender.

Shiro is a hero, always putting other people’s needs first, he’s the farthest thing from selfish as possible. His heart is made of gold and galaxy stars, he longs to see everything and anything, and Keith loves him for it, it’s one of his favorite qualities about Shiro. Keith loves and appreciates him but he’s definitely not like Shiro who is good and pure, he’s not afraid exploit this particular weakness of Shiro’s. Even though it makes him feel intensely guilty.

But he has to have this. Just this once. This could be the memory of a life time.

The room they’re in (Shiro’s) is almost completely dark, the low light comes from the night lamp Keith insisted on keeping on. He doesn’t want to just feel Shiro’s touch. He wants to _see_. Otherwise it might not be real, just another one of Keith’s midnight fantasies that never go anywhere. A circle has no beginning.

Shiro pushes Keith on his back on the sheets and lays on top of him. Their chests don’t touch, there’s an empty space between them because Shiro’s supporting himself with his arms, looming over Keith like a heated blanket. Keith is naked from the waist down but still has his over-sized t-shirt on for some reason. Shiro hasn’t shed off any of his clothes yet but he’s still sweating a lot, not from extersion but nervousness. The musk of it has filled every one of Keith’s senses making his mouth wet with spit.

Shiro’s hair bangs cling to his forehead like glue. When Keith brushes them out of Shiro’s field of vision (he wants _both_ of them to see), they stick together into a shape that makes Keith want to laugh. Keith doesn’t do it, though. This moment is a sacrament.

”You okay?” Shiro asks because of course he does. He looks endlessly worried which is kind of funny considering it was Keith who started all of this. And he knew what could come off of this. Shiro’s not to blame, never. Keith would rather jump in front of a train before accusing Shiro of anything. 

It’s all on him.

Keith’s breathing slows down and he smiles. The feelings of this moment are curled up into a ball inside his throat.

”Yeah,” he says easily, voice dragging behind only little, ”of course. I want to do this. You know that.”

Shiro frowns, scratches his nose after wrinkling it. He seems to count his breaths. It’s cute. ”Right.”

Keith has been quite vocal about what he wants but Shiro still seems to be uncertain. His fingers do rest on Keith’s ribs, though, he’s playing them like a harp, almost. There are twelve on each side, Shiro’s nails bite into the empty slits between them. Keith has to release the sigh he’s been holding. This is what he wants. Just this. Just Shiro. Without any apologies. This might be his only chance.

One of Shiro’s big hands slithers from Keith’s chest to his neck, thumb sliding back and forth on his adam’s apple. His other hand closes both of Keith’s wrists into a firm grip above Keith’s head. The thought of Shiro leaving blue finger prints into his skin exhilarates Keith.

The head of his cock is wet with pre-come. 

”Please.” His voice is nothing but a rasp. He’s already completely overwhelmed. ”Oh, please.”

Shiro’s touch stays strict. ”Yeah?” He’s almost teasing, getting more confident and Keith loves it.

”Yeah,” he answers, licks the sweat of his upper lip, tests the grip, trying to get out. Not that he actually wants to get out and Shiro must know it because he’s pressing even harder. It could leave bruises if they weren’t careful. Keith grins and Shiro kisses his cheek wetly. He presses their brows together gently, pets Keith’s wild hair. It’s revenent.

Keith closes his eyes. It won’t be long now. Tomorrow morning Shiro will leave with the Holts to make history. And Keith will not beg him to stay even if a large part of him wants to. He’s not Adam. He never will be.

And that’s a good thing, he hopes. Shiro hasn’t mentioned Adam’s name in awhile, he just flexes his jaw and frowns a lot like there’s something that can’t be fixed. Keith never liked Adam, anyway. He doesn’t tell Shiro that.

Not to say Shiro didn’t protest when Keith kissed him a few hours ago in the desert under a million stars Shiro will see more closely from tomorrow on. He did protest, he did turn his back on Keith and remained out of reach.

But in the end Shiro yielded because he’s very easy for Keith, just like Keith is for him. They haven’t done this before, Keith thought they never might. He thought he would lose Shiro to his dream of space and freedom without Keith getting at least a piece of what he wants so desperately.

But here they are. Keith’s warm under Shiro’s built chest, the heavy weight of him pinning him down on the mattress. The sheets are coarse and Keith’s knuckles are white from gripping them so tightly. Shit, Keith thinks, this could be it.

”Fuck,” Shiro mutters and buries his face into Keith’s neck. It’s almost as he’s thinking about the same thing. For a moment they just are. Breathing each other scent and keeping close.

Keith will not cry. 

”Let’s do this,” Keith says when Shiro lifts his head and smiles at him. The eyes are sad and endless. 

They will not cry.

Shiro nods and leans closer. Their noses brush against each other and Shiro snuffles at him. He’s so weird. Keith brings his palm on the middle of Shiro’s face and pushes him away, grinning. Shiro bites his forefinger before sucking it into his mouth. It’s warm with spit, wet. Shiro’s teeth nip on Keith’s knuckle. 

Keith is dying a little inside, for a lot of different reasons. Imagine this moment, how to keep on going with a heart of rock. It’s amazing. 

Way too soon Shiro releases him, kisses said fingertip and asks, ”How?”

”Fuck me,” Keith says immediately. ”I want – that. Shit. I want you to fuck me.”

Shiro shakes his head. ”No,” he says but he cups one of Keith’s ass cheeks with one palm, testing the waters. ”I won’t do that to you on your first time.”

”Yes, you will,” Keith says fiercely. He considers for a moment before dragging the hand on his ass down to his hole and massaging it. ”I want that. I will have that.”

Shiro looks a little shocked and tries to pull his hand away but Keith doesn’t let him. Shiro’s hand curls into a fist. He looks so conflicted Keith almost pities him. ”No. You haven’t done that before and I’m not going to –”

Keith shushes him gently. ”You’re wrong,” he says. Part of him has been waiting for this moment.

Shiro’s eyes widen. His breathing gets quicker and grip almost painful. When Shiro releases Keith’s wrists, Keith whines in protest. Shiro massages his temple with one hand, the other one is still keeping him up from flopping against Keith with his whole weight. He’s so strong, so perfect, Keith thinks a little dazedly. He adores Takashi Shirogane, has from the moment he met him. _Everyone_ adores him. Even Iverson has a soft spot for Shiro and that man’s an actual nightmare.

In the end, Keith is just one of the many who would probably pay to be him at this moment. 

Keith wishes Shiro would believe that, it’s the strongest truth he has. Keith has never lied to Shiro. Maybe he’s physically incapable of doing that.

Shiro mouth twists in an unhappy way. ”I thought you said you haven’t –”

”I said that no one else has done it to me,” Keith explains patiently. He wouldn’t let anyone else. This has always been for Shiro. ”I’ve got fingers, too, you know.” He wiggles them, living for Shiro’s reaction and wide eyes. He’s almost looking for an escape route, it’s sort of funny. Keith circles his arms around Shiro’s shoulders, though. Just in case.

Shiro bites his lip, eyes completely black and cheeks aflame. Keith would laugh if he wasn’t feeling so breathless. He’s feeling playful, like a cat. ”Oh,” Shiro says, ”That’s –That’s very...”

”Hot, isn’t it?” Keith smirks, thrilled and Shiro rolls his eyes before smacking a too quick kiss to Keith’s lips. His lips are rose red, just like his cheeks. He looks so smitten, like he can’t even believe Keith is real.

The feeling’s very mutual.

”The thought of you doing that to yourself will fill my daydreams for months,” Shiro says, chuckling. They stay like that for a moment, just grinning to each other before Shiro finally lays down on top of Keith and doesn’t hold himself back.

The look Shiro gives Keith is tracing. Thoughtful. 

”You really are something else,” he ends up saying and Keith’s heart gets off track. It feels like it’s moving up and down, bouncing without a goal.

”You’re important, too,” Keith answers back and it’s not exactly the same thing but Shiro’s gaze softens even more because of it. It feels unreal somehow.

This is it, Keith thinks again. This will be it.

Shiro’s touch is no more hesitant, it’s exploring and slow and firm. He maps through every corner of Keith’s willing body, licks Keith’s neck for a long minute, rubs his nipples with a calloused thumb, traces the ribs again like he forgot some details when circling them before. No one has ever touched Keith like this. He hasn’t allowed it, he hasn’t even been interested in sex with anyone other than Shiro.

If Keith wasn’t allowed to have him now, he would never go for someone else.

He touches Shiro now, knowing it.

They kiss when Keith gets frustared enough to crave for it again.

”Fuck me,” he demands again, ”now.”

Shiro chuckles under his breath, it smells like toothpaste because Shiro is a weirdo and brushed his teeth before sex. He said that he’s always done it and no one else ever thought it was weird. Keith answered that every other person Shiro has had sex with are probably secretly dentists. Or just assholes in general.

”Let’s just take it easy for now, okay?” Shiro says dropping kisses to Keith’s closed eyelids. Gentle, always gentle. It’s fucking Keith up a bit. Inside, Keith burns with want. He’s not sure he can wait anymore, not for having been patient for this long. So long, it feels. And not just this moment. Their whole relationship he’s been waiting.

He’s also afraid that Shiro’s is going to change his mind halfway through. Maybe he realises that Keith is just a kid who loves him a little too much for comfort, maybe he will get back to Adam after that. Perhaps Shiro gets fed up with Keith’s inexperience. Or maybe this is all just Keith’s imagination, like a twisted dream he’s been having for a little too long.

All of these are valid concerns and he tries to say as such,

”But –”

Shiro shushes him. ”All in good time, yeah?”

Keith frowns stubbornly, feeling almost rejected but Shiro just smiles at him knowingly. Shiro knows him. They know each other. ”I’ll take care of you,” he says and Keith can believe it. Shiro has done nothing else since they met. ”Promise.”

It’s hard to say no to Shiro so eventually Keith nods, although still reluctant.

He closes his eyes when Shiro presses his lips to his brow, endeared.

Shiro takes his time with Keith, both of them finally shedding their clothes off, marks him up with harsh teeth prints before kissing them away. He strokes his palms across all of Keith’s body, leaving him shivering and pleading for more. They drink each others sweat and arousal and it should be kind of disgusting but instead it’s the hottest thing ever.

It’s amazing. Keith is a virgin, this is his first time with anyone, not just with Shiro. He thinks that maybe if he knew it was like this, he would have seduced Shiro sooner. So good. It’s probably not as much of a sex thing than a Shiro thing, though. Keith can’t imagine all of this could be as good with someone different, the thought doesn’t attract him in any way.

They’re beautiful together, Shiro lets him know that in so many ways. He whispers sweet nothings in Keith’s hair while jacking his dick off with a strong and capable hand. Keith can see the veins blue glow bulging with the rhythm of his arm. They’re clear, even in the dark.

Halfway through Keith becomes agitated and impatient as fuck. He pleads and begs and threatens Shiro to get down to business but Shiro just chuckles into his collarbone.

”Patience yields focus,” he says, the idiot, and Keith could cry from frustaration.

”You’re cruel,” he says moodily but pecks Shiro’s jaw anyway when Shiro lifts his head from his neck to pout at him. He can’t not to. 

”Hey,” Shiro says, tickles Keith’s neck with the tip of his finger. It makes Keith splutter, ”I said I’d take care of you, didn’t I?”

Shiro’s hand on Keith’s cock gets faster, though. Keith’s so wet they haven’t even needed lube yet. He whines a little, embarassed. ”Sure,” he pants when Shiro rubs his thumb across the head.

”We’ll do this my way,” Shiro reminds him, something he said earlier in the night. And yes, that was one of the terms Shiro set. Never mind that Keith’s already 18 and there fore over the age of consent. There’s also the fact that Keith’s a cadet and Shiro technically his superior which makes things a little precarious. Not to Keith, though. He couldn’t care less about their age difference or power imbalance or whatever.

These sort of things seem to matter Shiro a lot.

”Fine,” Keith says and bows his neck hopefully.

Shiro beams at him. After that he indulgences Keith and sucks a big hickey under his jaw where everyone will see it. This is not a dream, Keith reminds himself. And the bruise is not an accident. Something Keith can look at in the mirror tomorrow and feel less alone. A souvenier from the past. Shit.

”I’ll take care of you,” Shiro says again but Keith knows it’s mostly to convince Shiro himself. Shiro’s so afraid of fucking this up between them, always cautious with matters of the heart. Don’t get burned. 

”Well, you better hurry the hell up if you don’t want to me to change my mind about this. You’re taking your sweet damn time,” Keith says but he’s teasing, of course. Thankfully Shiro takes it as such and grins so widely his dimples break out of cheeks. Keith is scared of telling the truth, maybe he wants too much from Shiro. 

He knows that Shiro would still give him everything.

”Brat.”

It’s an affectionate nickname.

Keith comes twice before he has even the chance to lay a hand on Shiro propelly. Shiro blows him long and hard and good, sucks on his nipples, eats him out filthily and Keith loves all of that. 

But this was not suppose to be just about him. He wants to have Shiro, too. It was the part he was most excited about, getting to touch him for the first time, confess every little fantasy and kiss all of Shiro’s troubles away. He doesn’t want to fall asleep without having all of that.

”Shiro,” Keith mumbles when Shiro stretches his hole with his thumbs and licks inside again. ”Shiro,” he says a little louder but Shiro just keeps on eating his ass with so much enthusiasm and it’s hot as fuck but Keith needs – he _needs_.

”Shiro, w-wait. Stop.”

Shiro breaks off panting to catch up his breaths, licking lazily at the soft skin underneath Keith’s knee. ”Yeah?”

”I,” Keith begins and streches his legs a little. They’re wrapped up over Shiro’s shoulders and the sight of Shiro laying there, between Keith’s thighs makes him a little weak. ”I want – I wanna do you, too,” he says in the end.

Shiro kisses both of his ankles before letting go and getting up on his knees, brushing his sweat-soaked bangs aside. There’s a bit of come on his cheek. He’s beautiful.

Shiro grins. ”You wanna eat my ass like I did yours?”

Keith breathes in and out. Slowly. ”No? I mean –Yes. If that’s something you’d want? I dunno...”

Shiro laughs. It’s a happy sound. ”Maybe we should take it a little slower,” he says, eyes shifting with mirth. 

”Shiro,” Keith says, ”I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Shiro is so patient. ”I know, baby,” he says stumbling a bit over the pet name. Keith loves him. ”What do you want to do?”

Keith’s breathing is trembling. ”I want – I just want you.”

”And you have me,” Shiro answers, forever the saint he is. It’s unfair that Keith only gets to have him for this one night.

”Can I blow you?” Keith asks then, braver for the thought. He will make this night last.

”Of course,” Shiro says immediately. ”You want me to lay down?” he asks when Keith rises holding himself up with his arms. Keith shakes his head.

”No, you on the bed, me on the floor,” he answers. If Shiro is surprised he doesn’t show it, he just nods and kisses Keith on the forehead before Keith slides down on his knees. He’s a little nervous but Shiro already did this to him, he’d probably give a few pointers if Keith asked.

He wants to do this on his own, though. Make it as good as he can. 

”You want a pillow, baby?” Shiro asks then.

”I’m fine,” Keith says quickly. Shiro changes his position, his legs are so long he has to strecth them way behind Keith’s body. Keith adjusts himself so that his head is between Shiro’s massive thighs. Ready for anything, Keith thinks giggling to himself, a little light-headed.

Shiro’s so hard. And big. Very big. Compared to him Keith is ridiculously small and he's above avarage. Drool fills his mouth at the thought of sucking Shiro's At the though of his cock being inside of him.

He can’t wait.

But before all of that, Keith ties his hair on a quick messy bun so it won’t be in the way and Shiro stares at him for a long while, looking so smitten Keith has to slap his thigh hard to make him stop. Shiro tells him he’s pretty with his hair like that. Shiro is pretty as well, always.

”You’re very big,” Keith lets Shiro know and looks up to him. Shiro looks a little embarrassed, the blush on his cheek prominent under Keith’s gaze.

”I’ve been told,” he answers. ”Does it bother you?”

”Are you fucking kidding me?” Keith says and that’s answer enough. ”This is the best thing ever,” he continues. Shiro looks pleased. He touches the top of Keith’s scalp, strokes his hair. This moment is almost unreal.

He starts slow, burying his face in Shiro’s pubic hair, just breathing in his scent to his lungs thoughtfully. He rubs his lips against it, pulling the hair with his teeth making Shiro moan, the sound low and shallow.

”Careful,” Shiro reminds him.

Keith hums. He licks the root of his cock slowly finding it’s softer than he expected. A vein pulses underneath his tongue. There’s no way he can suck this whole thing in his mouth. A little help with his fist, maybe.

It takes time and practice but after a few minutes Shiro’s dick is halfway throug his throat. Keith feels victorious, gulping around it, jacking the other half off with both of his hands. Shiro is clearly trying not to make noise which makes Keith even more determinent to be good. He wants this to be the best Shiro’s ever had, fuck you, Adam and every other guy Shiro’s ever been with it. Keith is going to ace this.

Eventually Shiro grips Keith’s hair tightly and pulls him off of his dick, panting with deep breaths. Keith watches him, questioning, missing the weight immediately.

”Why did you make me stop?” he asks feeling a little ridiculous and petulant. He bites his lip but doesn’t face Shiro’s gaze.

”I was going to come,” Shiro says. ”And you wanted me to fuck you tonight.”

”Oh.”

Shiro cups Keith’s face between his hands pulling Keith up so quickly, he stumbles and has to lay his hands on Shiro’s thighs so he doesn’t fall. Shiro looks at him for a long minute before kissing him, sweet and gentle. Keith trembles like he’s cold. For a moment they just are. Keith loves him. Is _in love_ with him. It’s that simple. Shiro’s beautiful, inside and out and Keith is going to miss him terribly once he’s gone. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s never been really good at feelings. And he’s never had the kind of feelings he has for Shiro.

”I’m going to miss you so much,” Shiro says then, pets Keith’s hair, pecks his brow. Keith closes his eyes, leans his cheek on Shiro’s thigh. They’re quiet. Keith can’t say it back. 

It’s a thing he’s going to whisper at the sky by the time Shiro’s already gone.

”I know,” he says instead and Shiro understands his meaning. Shiro always understands him even without words. And Keith’s always been particularly bad with those. It’s one of the reasons he likes Shiro so much.

”Now,” he says, ”let’s get to the real goal of your last night on Earth.”

In the Keith ends up in Shiro’s lap, bouncing on his cock like his life depends on it. Shiro said it would be easier like this, Keith could set the pace, go as slowly as he wanted, get used to the stretch.

Shiro prepared him slowly and thoroughly with too much lube, playing with the rim of his hole, curling his fingers just right. Kissing and praising him the whole time, making Keith feel perfect. And when Shiro sinked into him, filling him to the brink, it was a feeling like no other.

”You’re doing so good, baby,” Shiro says, his hands are tight on Keith’s hips, guiding him, encouraging him.

Baby, he says. Keith likes it more than he thought. He doesn’t ask if Shiro called Adam that. He doesn’t want to, he wants to think that it’s maybe something just between them. As unlikely as it is.

”You think so?” Keith teases tensing on Shiro’s cock while continuing to ride him with fervor. Hair strands are escaping his bun and he loosens one of his hands that clutch tightly on to Shiro’s shoulders. He pauses and brushes it behind his ear. Shiro stops his movement and watches him with keen eyes.

Gently, oh so gently, he pulls the band from Keith’s hair, letting the bun loose. The strands are sticky from sweat but Shiro brushes his fingers through them, untangling the mess he’s made. He slips the tie to his own wrist.

”That’s better,” he says and Keith’s breath catches at the way Shiro’s looking at him, he feels vulnerable in this moment but also _precious_ somehow. He can see it in Shiro’s eyes and that has to be enough. At least for now.__

_ _Everything will be okay._ _

_ _”I love you.”_ _

_ _One must be brave. The words are truer than anything Keith has said out loud before. Keith’s eyes are finally wet._ _

_ _Shiro will never dissappoint him._ _

_ _”I love you, too,” he says and sounds terrifyingly honest. Keith’s heart tightens and expands over and over again in a quickly rhythm. It aches. ”You’re my everything.”_ _

_ _”Am I?” Keith wonders. The thought is almost ridiculous. To mean so much to a man like Takashi Shirogane._ _

_ _Shiro nods looking serious. ”You’re the most important thing in my life.”_ _

_ _Keith wants to ask a question. _What about Adam?_ But it would make light of Shiro’s heartfelt confession. And he doesn’t want to Shiro to feel like a fraud even if Keith can’t wrap his head around it.___ _

_ _ _ _But in the end: Shiro is the most important thing in Keith’s life, too._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They continue their mindless swaying, Keith has slowed down, tries to feel more while still aiming steadily for an orgasm. Shiro starts pushing against him, finally massaging Keith’s prostate with the head of his prick. It makes Keith almost weep with relief after waiting for so long for any kind of release._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He comes with a low moan, painting Shiro’s lower chest white. Shiro breathes more harshly as he follows behind. Keith can feel his hole dripping, Shiro came so much. So much. It’s incredible._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They smile at each other tiredly before Shiro pulls out and topples Keith on the bed shielding the back of his skull with the cup of his palm. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Shiro presses his lips to Keith’s forehead. Keith is shaking._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _”Sleep,” Shiro murmurs, ”let’s just sleep.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _And they do._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Somewhere above the ceiling, above the roof, the Milky Way is waiting._ _ _ _


End file.
